My hand was shaking…
This was it. After signing God knows how many sheets of papers, this was the last one.
The final signature that’d make me the owner of a US$1.2 million condominium.
(Also the start of a 25-year monthly $4,253 mortgage to be exact.)
I turned and looked at my wife-to-be in the eyes.
Quincy has already finished all her signatures.
Raising her eyebrows, she shot me a concerned “what’s wrong” expression.
I felt my chest tightening as I flipped the pages pretending to read the countless terms and conditions.
“Mike, is everything okay?”
My property agent Stephie asked.
“Well done Steph. Come, I clap for you. You saw through my guise of trying to delay the deal. Of course, you wouldn’t want your big fat commission slipping out of your pocket.”
That’d be my thought bubble if this were a comic strip.
To be honest, half of me was in heaven and the other half in hell.
I was torn.
This was our dream and I was excited to own a place I could call home finally.
And then there was the money matter, which was slowly but surely eating up part of my soul.
With no other option at this last crucial moment, alas, I scribbled my name on the final dotted line.
“Shit got real.”
That was my thought after lifting the heavy pen from the last stroke of my signature.
I stared at my signature for a while, almost couldn’t recognize it with the odd tail stroke.
Then, I felt a gentle squeeze on my thigh, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I looked to my right and saw Quincy encouraging me telepathically with her bright, comforting eyes.
I got it.
She was trying to assure me that everything would turn out to be okay.
I flashed a huge smile at Quincy and shook off my anxious, fearful thoughts.
Out of a sudden, I felt sorry for myself.
She was trying to make me stay positive, and the funny thing was, I should be!
At the start of the year, I landed a new job with a 30% pay increment earning $5,850/month ($70,000/year), and I was about to marry the love of my life who was drawing a similar pay.
Yes, we could afford this new condominium if you were to take a calculator and punch in the numbers.
So, what was my worry?
Rather, I should rephrase my question…
What was there not to worry?
Everything seems to be in order on the outside.
But dig a little deeper, you’d see that our bank balance was in a mess.
The over $200,000 downpayment wiped clean our savings, plus the $4,253 monthly mortgage loan taking a chunk of our paychecks.
“What if either one of us is axed from our jobs? What if the property market crashes? What if one of us falls sick?”
All these negative thoughts started floating into my mind.
Yes, you are correct to say that I’m the one who makes the big decisions in our relationship, and also the one who worries about the choices I make. (Especially the ones that have to do with money.)
Quincy used to assure me that I was worrying too much.
But I’d brush her off telling her I was worried about money at that moment so that we did not have to worry about it in the future.
I guess I was wrong since the worry has been there all the time.
To be completely honest, that was just a lousy excuse.
I had deep-seated insecurity with money, which I did not reveal to anyone.
For me, money led to stress and anxiety and made me feel powerless and out of control.
I used to have this idea that money was the solution to my problems.
But yet, the same worries and insecurities I had when I was earning $2,000/month appeared again when I nearly tripled my income.
It seemed that along with more money, I also manifested more worries.
The insecurity did not go away.
“Well, it’d go away if you have a million dollars in your account.”
If that is what you’re thinking, then do you know millionaires worry about money too?
In a New York Times post, money psychologist Olivia Mellan hits the nail on the head on why the rich are anxious.
“The psychology of wealth is knotty. On the surface, being wealthy can make people believe they have more control over their lives, but it can also control them emotionally.”
I don’t own money. Money owns me.
This was my backstory before I met a dear friend of mine who completely changed my insecurity towards money.
The REAL issue wasn’t money.
He made me understand that “more” was not the answer.
I needed something different.
A massive quantum shift of how I see myself, and more importantly, how I see money.
What you’re about to read on the next page is THE COMPLETE TRUTH ABOUT RICHES.
(Yes, I’m so excited for you that I’ve put the words in bold caps.)
The truth that has set me free from the clutches of chasing after money.
And I believe this truth will squash all your monetary worries forever.
Are you ready to never see money in the same way ever again?